It is not enough to conquer; one must know how to seduce. (Voltaire)
There are three possible parts to a date,
of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection.
It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment,
a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the
amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately.
When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under
no circumstances can the food be omitted.
(Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour - http://www.quotegarden.com/sex.html)
'The noblest kind of beauty is that ...which slowly filters into our minds.' (Friedrich Nietzsche)
'Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken.' (Simone de Beauvoir)
The ability to seduce is a very complex and interesting aspect of our sexual evolution - and clearly relates to our emerging intelligence and more sophisticated mating rituals. If (like most people) you want to be good at seduction it will obviously be useful to understand these more primitive evolved foundations.
What stimulates sexual arousal? Here we can consider physical appearance, touch and clothing, scent, music / atmosphere, body language and most importantly for humans, the power of words to affect the human mind.
What are the signs of human sexual arousal? In both sexes, there is an increase in the breathing rate and blood pressure with vasocongestion of the skin ('sex flush'), dilation of the pupils and release of pheromones (our natural scent).
We hope you enjoy our page on seduction - and put it to good use!
Casanova (April 2, 1725 - June 4, 1798) was a famous Venetian writer, adventurer
and lover of women. It is nice to read Casanova, he was an aristocratic
individual and his writing is elegant. At times he seems to possess a genuine
love, respect and appreciation for women he seduces. However the wikipedia
article on Casanova suggests that he also used intimidation and threats,
leaving behind children and debt (humans are not saints!).
The following quotes on seduction, from his book, The Story of My Life, are charming.
The very next morning I sent the following note to La Valville: I would like, madame, to have an affair with you. You have awakened distressing desires in me, which I challenge you to satisfy.
She told me it was in my power to seduce her, but that if I loved her, I should spare her this shame. I made it clear to her that an intelligent girl could only be ashamed of giving herself to a man she did not love; but if she loved me, then love, assuming responsibility for everything, would justify her in everything.
She could see I was burning for her, and as she seemed pleased with my restraint, I asked her if she would mind if I called on her often ...
I finally realized she was afraid I would reproach her if I found she was not a virgin. Her anxiety amused me, and I was pleased to assure her that the virginity of girls seemed to me nothing more than an invention of boys, since nature had deprived most girls of even the signs of it. I ridiculed those who made it a question of honor. I could see that my wisdom pleased her, and she came into my arms full of confidence.
Each discovery I made raised my soul to love, which in turn fortified me in the demonstration of my gratitude. She was astonished to find herself receptive to so much pleasure, for I showed her many things she had considered fictions. I did things to her that she did not feel she could ask me to do and I taught her that the slightest constraint spoils the greatest pleasures.
Cultivating the pleasures of the senses was my principle concern throughout my life; none, indeed, was ever more important to me. Feeling as though I was born for the fair sex, I have always loved it and let it love me as much as I could.
Seduction is often difficult to distinguish from rape. In seduction, the rapist often bothers to buy a bottle of wine. (Andrea Dworkin)
The ultimate goal of seduction is to have sex. Given that seduction can
be quite mesmerising (similar to hypnosis) is it moral to manipulate someone
to achieve your own lascivious ends? Can they give informed consent whilst
under the guise of this magic spell?
Clearly seduction can be moral and immoral - and it would depend on whether both parties acted with informed consent. The problem arises though, where in being honest (e.g. I just want to seduce you to satisfy my lust and ego) would lessen the chance of succeeding. And as humans are not saints, you must therefore assume that in many cases the motives of the seducer are not moral (they are trying to deceive the recipient of their charms).
However, as with all things, if you know this truth it will better help you to protect yourself. And in reflecting on this importance of knowing the truth about things (to act more wisely) will also help us to act morally.
This relates to the following book:
This unusual text can be viewed from many points of view. On one level, the author's intentions are at best quite disturbing, because the texts theme has definite anti-social undertones. Deception, manipulation, exploitation of peoples weaknesses to achieve selfish ends has no moralistic value whatsoever; in fact the whole idea of preying on a 'victims' weaknesses in order to position them within your power, to then sexually dominate and influence them to your wiles and wishes, is a deplorable concept anyway you view it. Then again, from another perspective, the numerous techniques of seduction that Green instructs the reader on, supplying a plethora of examples from history and Western and Eastern literature, can teach us to be wary, or at least aware of certain individuals unscrupulous methods to attain what they desire. As the old saying goes, "Better the devil you know, than the one you don't." (Review from Amazon.com)
All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. (Marya Mannes,American Writer, 1904-1990)
You can seduce a man without taking anything off, without even touching him. (Rae Dawn Chong, American Actress, b.1962)
Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality. It's part of the sizzle. (Camille Paglia)
It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction. (Pablo Picasso)
Unlike many other animals, humans do not have a mating season and can become sexually aroused at any time. What are the signs of human sexual arousal?
In both men and women: Increase in breathing rate, blood pressure, muscle tone, heart rate, flushing of the skin, slight or extreme dilation of the pupils, erection of the nipples and the release of pheromones.
To improve your 'Art of Seduction' it is useful to be guided by our evolved instincts and understand the signs of sexual arousal.
Compared to primates, only humans have a white area around the center colored
portion of their eye. And even though the male eye is slightly larger than
the female eye, the female eye has a higher proportion of white showing.
Men are attracted to young healthy women because they have the best success in producing healthy offspring. Bright, white areas in a woman's eyes plus long, thick eye lashes are excellent indicators of female good health. Women know how their eye contact can activate men's hormones and interest. Therefore women are very careful to avoid eye contact with men in public - unless they want attention. If a woman wants attention from a man, she knows eye contact (plus a little smile) is one of the fastest ways to get it.
Since the pupil can not be controlled consciously it is an excellent and reliable broadcaster of emotions. When the pupil is closed down to a small opening (when not in bright light) it indicates a lack of interest or something distasteful. Dilated (wide open) pupils indicate high interest or desire. When a person looks around, at the mouth and maybe even lower body parts, there is 'lust in those orbs'!
Try experimenting with candles and lighting, music, massage, bathing together, wine, incense, visual erotica, dressing up.
* Every space is different, so take the time to experiment.
* Consider the sexual mood you are trying to set.
Are you going for a frenetic night of animalistic abandon in a club atmosphere? Or a slightly mysterious, titillating French brothel from the 20s? A cozy comfortable lair?
* When you're lighting for sex, dimmers are always good, fluorescent is always bad.* Don't spread light all over the room, light specific points.
* You don't need to spend a lot on special lights.
Put a light on the floor, aim your desk light at a photo, try turning the TV around to face a white wall for a colorful moving effect. Play with what you've got, and get creative about what you own that lights up.
* Light your room for sexy bodies.
Consider trying to light from the side - it really helps to highlight the shape of the body - it is the primary way to light professional dancers.
* Candles set the mood beautifully.
* Create beautiful shadows on your walls.
Position a light so that the moving shadows of you and your partner are projected larger than life onto the walls around you.
1) Both partners should begin by bathing - this will help calm and relax you. Take your time. The man is a god, the woman a goddess, so admire each other's physical forms and use the bathing ritual to empty your mind of thoughts.
2) Eat appropriate food - nourishment is especially important if you are embarking on a long Tantric session and the act of sharing and feeding each other is representative of the bond between partners. Meat, fish and honey are all genital foods in Tantra tradition and the drinking of wine is highly recommended.
3) Create a beautiful atmosphere - candles or dim light, especially violet which is believed to stimulate female sex organs (red activates male sex organs) will help to prepare your sacred space. Use an oil burner or incense sticks to harmonise your space (Sandalwood, Patchouli and Ylang Ylang combined are fabulous).
4) Anoint each other's body with oil - again, take your time. Pure essential oils are best used (a few drops mixed with a carrier oil such as almond). For a highly-charged sexual feeling go for Sandalwood, or for a gentler effect try Geranium or Bermagot.
5) Be comfortable - you can be naked but if you start with some light-weight clothing (especially chiffon and silk coloured violet/pink for women, red for men) you can discard garments as you intensify the ritual. A white sheet laid out on which you massage each other is good, as are silk scarves and feathers used for gentle stroking and caressing.
The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian manual on the Art of Love and Seduction.
'In the pleasure room, decorated with flowers, and fragrant with perfumes, the citizen should receive the woman, who will come bathed and dressed, and will invite her to take refreshment and to drink freely. He should then seat her on his left side, and holding her hair, and touching also the end and knot of her garment, he should gently embrace her with his right arm. They should then carry on an amusing conversation on various subjects, and may also talk suggestively of things which would be considered as coarse, or not to be mentioned generally in society. They may then sing, either with or without gesticulations, and play on musical instruments, talk about the arts, and persuade each other to drink. At last when the woman is overcome with love and desire, they should proceed ...' (Kama Sutra)
This best selling book is about a physically unattractive man who greatly increases his luck with the ladies by learning techniques from 'professional pickup artists'. While he enjoys the initial success, Strauss realises the techniques don't work when he falls in love and tries to have a relationship.
Quantum theory has shown us that matter and the mind are subtly interconnected. To relate this to sexuality - by thinking well about yourself and the other person, they are likely to pick up on this positive energy. A happy, energetic person is much more attractive than a desperate, pessimistic soul. Obviously, this is can also be beneficial to coupled relationships. By reinforcing truthful, positive ideas e.g. I think you are so sexy - grounds belief in that compliment, thus your partner will become more confident and sexy.
Page Title: 'Art of Seduction: On Evolution, Culture, Psychology
& Beauty. Seductive Tips: Erotic Lingerie, Massage, Makeup, Breasts'.
Want to be Involved? Join us in this research, which provides an excellent opportunity to present to the world the latest knowledge about the thing we all find most interesting - sex! The work will not just benefit humanity, it will profoundly enhance your own sexuality as you learn more about our complex and diverse sexual evolution.
We seek help in finding the latest scientific (evolutionary) research on our biological and cultural sexual evolution and distributing content (overviews / summaries) to relevant pages.
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Analyse any human emotion, no matter how far it may be removed from the sphere of sex, and you are sure to discover somewhere the primal impulse, to which life owes its perpetuation. ... The primitive stages can always be re-established; the primitive mind is, in the fullest meaning of the word, imperishable. ... Mans most disagreeable habits and idiosyncrasies, his deceit, his cowardice, his lack of reverence, are engendered by his incomplete adjustment to a complicated civilisation. It is the result of the conflict between our instincts and our culture. (Sigmund Freud)
We get a lot of people writing to us asking questions about sex. So we have added an 'Ask a Question' feature to our sexuality pages - to help share questions and answers as a way of helping one another.
Please use Facebook Connect (below) to add your questions / comments - the best questions and answers will be added to the page.
Karene (September, 2012)
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