From the essay: 'Humiliation is to the spirit as pain is to the body. Humiliation can affirm a healthy ego, just as pain or stress can affirm a healthy body. Religions use humility for spiritual development, just as sports use physical stress for bodily development. So likewise, SM (sadomasochism) uses humiliation to eroticize the ego, pain to eroticize the body.
Many masochists who eroticize pain reject and are offended by humiliation. Many masochists who eroticize humiliation cannot handle pain. Likewise, sadists seem to be chiefly into pain or humiliation. Sadists think masochists are the most erotic people alive. So now it's your choice: dominate or submit. Would you rather have power over a highly erotic person (and what would you do with them?) Or would you rather be a highly erotic person for someone with power over you? (and what would you want them to do with you?).
Submissive is not the same as passive. Passives are inert. Submissives, in their desire to be controlled, may provoke, resist, scream and holler and even fight back. They are often great exhibitionists, loving mirrors and dramatic scenes. Likewise dominant is not the same as aggressive. Dominants are often shy, calculating, reserved and voyeuristic.'
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Analyse any human emotion, no matter how far it may be removed from the sphere of sex, and you are sure to discover somewhere the primal impulse, to which life owes its perpetuation. ... The primitive stages can always be re-established; the primitive mind is, in the fullest meaning of the word, imperishable. ... Mans most disagreeable habits and idiosyncrasies, his deceit, his cowardice, his lack of reverence, are engendered by his incomplete adjustment to a complicated civilisation. It is the result of the conflict between our instincts and our culture. (Sigmund Freud)
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